There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
