it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
