We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
