Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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