shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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