Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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