You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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