is your mom at the bar?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
