i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
