I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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