I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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