Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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