In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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