Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
