Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
