ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
