Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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