I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
