Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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