I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
