And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
