bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how drunk are you?
Several
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
