I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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