is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
