R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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