I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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