I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
