he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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