he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
