Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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