But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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