i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
