We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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