So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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