i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
