so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
