Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
