Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
