Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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