yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
