shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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