hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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