tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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