Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
