just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love having hate sex.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
