Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
