I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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