Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
