I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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