Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
