let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
