You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Welp...herpes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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