did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
