pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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